i am back. my hands still hurt and my forearms. i have a busy day today my head is sort of spinning off because of it. I have some good news! My friends brother, who i love, is going to stay with me for three weeks. So my big house will have someone in it with me. That will be great. He is also going to pay me some money. i bargained for the lowest price lol. i tend to do that. so now i have some extra cash which is good for me. yay me! and also…my little sister stayed the night last night. that was also great and much needed. When i woke up in the middle of the night to go pee she did too! and we could talk. i felt so relieved to know there was someone there with me as i handle all the hard things in life. i can feel so put off by people. but sort of learned i would rather be put off then alone. maybe i think that? depends on how put off you want to get…hahah.

called mom this morning she looked better. it was just better. less contact for now is better. sigh and hush.

Home. good to be home. i think. one last post before the night ends. what shall i say? i think we can fix anything we put our minds to. or at least i want to believe that. so then i think if i can fix it….i’ll start tomorrow lol how’s that for a good night. night!

ps i love the deep color blue and the yellow…reminds me of the night…which it is suppose to and the time my aunt Jill told me santa was in the sky. she said look- and she pointed to a shooting star. how’s that for timing? it was magical. i didn’t want that night to end. things were always good on christmas eve. always good. always. families got time to spend time in appreciation with gifts and a christmas tree…pine smell filling the house with decades of ordainments to remind us of the good parts of the past and friends that remembered us. something else…something about being connected to a people…a long legacy of people who believe in a particular order of being together. catholics. i always loved that word. catholic.