i am filled with rage. sorry. woke up 3am no sleep. its gorgeous out now at 8am. hours later. the weather was so so cool after a 90 degree day. the rain came in the night and tornado watches. the calm that swept away the heat before a potential wind storm that never came. what if it comes? we were all dancing at the studio. hip hop and tango with masters. master dancers with skills and knowledge untapped by most. it was glorious. i could barely concentrate. my hip hurt. my mind hurt. my mom is in so much crisis over and over again in her mind, in her body, its heart breaking to witness….but you knew that and so did i. this is nothing new. none of it. i just hold her weight now. she lives by me now to care for in her age. how much do i sacrifice her troubles for mine? engaged and engaged. over and over again. marx was right its all about class but so much more complicated that all that. way more. way fucking more….

is this a mystery story? mystery of the mind and how will you engage? detetctive finding the truth. all native stories are detective stories. searching for what was lost and systematically made invisible.

my mom is poor. my dad sends me money to send her. she never got a real settlement. now i bare the weight. my dad and brother can’t be held accountable. its so raukus. barf. time to get back to work